


If I ever lose my faith in you

by Sys



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 22:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18270725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sys/pseuds/Sys
Summary: Talia's been returned to Susan's side... but Control's not giving up without a fight. - This was written for a drabble exchange and thus we have a series of drabbles, not a single work. Be prepared. :)





	If I ever lose my faith in you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [janetcarter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/gifts).



> I really do hope this is your thing, Avery. <3 Originally this ended sooner and on a much angstier note... but then you said you wanted a fix it and if anything needs fixing badly it's Russian Winter, right? 
> 
> My thanks go to my dear Kanadka who kindly agreed to read this for me, thank you so much. <3

“They are both in there. I have weakened Control as much as I dare, but I do not want to cause permanent damage to Talia. We need someone...”

“Susan,” Stephen Franklin interrupts her. “We need Susan.”

“It is a difficult process. I never thought it possible until.... I could never have done it with the skills I was born with.” She pauses. “They have a terrible battle ahead. Control will fight them for every inch.”

“But they have a chance now. That is more than they had yesterday. You guys took one hell of a risk... and pulled it off.”

~

The call is unexpected, but welcome. The news are _unbelievable_ and incredibly welcome. Being forced to wait until she can take time off to meet them... it is difficult to bear. But you lead by example, and duty comes first, even if each day, each hour gets to her heart and nerves.

It takes three weeks until her mission is completed. Three long weeks of waiting, of forcing herself to remain calm. Not to get her hopes up. They said that things may never be as they were, once. But you do not abandon loved ones. She cannot abandon Talia.

~

It is embarrassing to remember how she thanked them. How she almost kissed Lyta in her joy. Thanked her in every language she speaks, even the ones she never learned to say thank you in. 

Remember, too, how they led her towards Talia’s assigned quarters. How Talia smiled, tired but... clearly herself. 

“Do not let it fool you. Control is still in there, too,” Lyta cautioned her then. 

 

“I missed you,” Talia whispers desperately, and she wants to reach out. Wants to touch her face, feel her warm and alive and free. But she cannot. Control is still there. Waiting.

~

When she resigns her commission, it is Lennier who suggests that they should go to Minbar. Seek refuge in a safer area for telepaths (and latent telepaths?) so shortly after the War. And it is G’Kar who suggests that the little trio will find a ship and accompany them. Catch up on old times with them. And seize the chance to meet young David. 

Calling John tells her that she is welcome and that he will find _something_ for her to do. Which probably means obnoxious diplomatic assemblies. But in return for Talia... who could say no to that offer? 

~

On Minbar it is easy to forget the cares that brought them. John clearly burns to trade Captaining stories. Delenn seems overjoyed to have them. David is every bit his father’s charms and his mother’s enchanting smiles unless he is tired or fails to get his way. And when Alisa Beldon visits... life could be almost as it was, once, only extremely different. 

Well until Alisa meets Talia, smiles broadly, and then suddenly stops in her tracks. “You are not her. You are not Talia.”

A pleased, terrible grin disfigures Talia’s beautiful lips. “How very perceptive you are, little one.”

~

It is shortly after the trio has split up and left to pursue other adventures that Minbar starts to feel unsettling. Or perhaps it is sleeping in the quarters next to the ones Talia shares with Control. Patience, Lyta had recommended as they said their goodbyes. Patience, more patience and more patience yet. It is not a virtue she excels at. 

But John made good on his promise to find her occupations to keep her busy. And there is no magic wand to wave and free Talia. There is just patience. And memories that might amuse Control or remind Talia.

~

“You are troubled, my dear friend,” Delenn says, settling beside her. “Would talking ease your burden?”

“Five years, Delenn... five years and I am never _sure_ that it is really her. Control knows us. She can copy everything Talia would do.”

“Do you remember what you told me during the Nafak’cha?” 

It takes her a moment to sort Minbari rituals, but she does. “Yes.”

“We consider love one of the strongest forces for healing and the universe one of the greatest teachers.”

Minbari would probably bake wonderful fortune cookies. “I hoped the universe might be done with teaching me lessons.”

~

They are dancing when something in Talia’s eyes shines through. Something so like her... what she thinks was her, at least. Something so sweet. So beautiful. So... sensual. She closes her eyes as they kiss. Forces herself to prepare for the mockery that might follow. But it is sweet and gentle and only a little desperate. 

“I do love you,” Talia whispers against her lips. “Whatever she tells you. _I_ love you. Always remember that.”

A single touch to her face and she feels love soaring through her as it did years ago. Talia. There is no doubt this time.

~

Control cackles gleefully at another trap well laid. For _months_ it was only Talia. Long enough to almost feel safe. She should have known better. Should have known not to get her hopes up. Should have sensed it was another trap. If the universe had meant for her to be happy... but to hold her hand the day John left them... and to use _that_ day to return... she manages to hold back her tears till she is alone with Delenn. 

It is comforting to have someone to cry with, even if her reasons are a lot messier than Delenn’s. 

~

“There is an ancient ritual,” Delenn says, her voice betraying an uncertainty Susan has never heard before. “It is not condoned by my people and I would not speak of it... but I cannot bear to lose you and you grieve in her presence, year after year.”

“A ritual?”

“A cleansing... it is... very painful.”

“Would it help?”

“It has not been attempted in decades and we would need to... procure... one of the Triluminary.” A mischievous smile crosses Delenn’s lips. “I can arrange _that_ part. You should talk to Talia to find out if she is willing.”

“I will..”

~

Talia’s wrists are tied to an odd triangle shape and they take positions to all four sides of her, with Delenn taking Lyta’s and Alisa’s hands as they each face Talia. Her own hands are filled with another triangle shape Delenn handed her. 

“You will hold the Triluminary, I will speak the words.”

It would all be slightly ridiculous if Talia was not tied up between them. If they had not heard all about the torturous pain the device causes. To hear her scream... but they were warned. And Talia asked her to. Pleaded with her. _Anything_ to be free.

~

The diagnosis is clear on one thing: Talia is free from Control. But both Alisa and Lyta avoid her eyes when she wants to learn more. And Delenn will not tell her why Talia is still unable to wake up. It takes time, it seems, to recover from so invasive a procedure.

Day after day she turns her. Washes her. Brushes her hair. And waits for a response. Anything to tell her if _someone_ survived the procedure. Delenn spends her days praying, Lyta and Alisa spend theirs whispering. and exchanging awkward glances.

“You need to wake up. Please come back.”

~

For weeks her duties keep her sane. Being Anla’Shok’Na is a busier job than she imagined and that helps. The paperwork alone... there is always something to do, aside from sitting beside Talia’s bedside. Holding her hand. Pleading with her not to go.

“A had a vision of Valen,” Delenn informs her and she is _serious_ about that. 

“Great.”

“He believes we should take her to his temple.”

“Look, I know you want to help, but...”

“Faith manages, Susan, you will see.”

She closes her eyes, mostly to hide her frustration. Perhaps _she_ should pray. “So when do we leave?” 

~

Inside the temple Delenn is sure is the one Valen wants them in, Delenn instructs her aides to set down Talia and then leads them outside, leaving them alone. 

“Susan.”

She is unprepared for the sight. 

“Jeff?”

“You look like you need some rest...” His voice is tender, but knowing his intentions does not prevent her body from reacting. Over and over he tells her as her eyelids grow heavier.

When she wakes there is a hand on her cheek and she expects Delenn. Only that the eyes she opens hers to are blue, framed by blonde hair.

“Talia?... How?”

~

They are married in spring. Or maybe not married. But they exchange rings and invite their friends and her rangers. _Their_ rangers. The thought cheers her a little when remembering all of the people who are unable to join them for this moment of happiness threatens to break her heart anew.

“May I have this dance?” 

She rises to join her hands with Talia’s. Dances to the music and hears the whispered promises of years before. The words that filled her with strength. Talia’s gifts were lost to the ritual, but when fingers caress her face, love soars inside her.


End file.
